Domestic Abuse

Facts in Brief

Abuse can happen in any family, at anytime, no matter one’s age, sexual orientation, level of income, or devotion to one another.

• The abuse can be verbal, emotional, sexual or physical.
• Conflict most often begins when the abuser needs to either maintain or regain power and
  control in the relationship.
• Common areas for conflict include determination on how money is spent, and over the
  management of the children.
• Female partners in a common-law relationship are four times more likely to be victims of
  violence than married women.
• Violence is more likely to increase when the wife is pregnant.
• Immigrant and minority women are more prone to domestic abuse, less likely to report it, and
  find it harder to get help when they try to leave abusive home environments.
• Family violence isolates children, damages their self-esteem, and can spawn psychological
  problems such as depression, anxiety, feelings of guilt and suicidal tendencies.
• In 50-70% of cases where one parent is abusing the other, the children are being abused as well.
• Growing up in a violent home can lead some people to turn against their own children when
  they become parents, or to abuse their adult partners.
• 50% of Canadian women who were physically assaulted also experienced sexual assault by the
  same partner.

Sources:

Royal Canadian Mounted Police; Canadian Panel on Violence Against Women;
Grant L. Martin, PhD; Canadian Council on Social Development; Statistics Canada.

“My husband struck me on my honeymoon. He killed our first child by kicking the four-month child out of my uterus. My doctor asked me what did I do to make him so mad, our minister reminded me that I had married for better or worse, the lawyer wanted to know where I would get money to pay the fees, and my mother told my husband where I was hiding.”

– An abuse survivor

Unhealthy Relationships

Are you in a healthy relationship?
A good relationship is based on care, trust and tolerance:

• Care for one another
• Respect and trust in each other
• llow space for different opinions, tastes and ideas

A healthy relationship is not based on jealousy, control and unreasonable demands.

If someone uses jealousy or anger to make you do things their way, then this is controlling behaviour and not a healthy relationship.

You have the right to:

• Live your life without violence
• Be safe in your home
• Talk to people about your situation
• Keep your children safe from harm
• Leave your home and go to a safe place
• Unconditional support

Types of Abuse

• PHYSICAL — pushing, choking, slapping, hitting and kicking.
• PSYCHOLOGICAL — denial of food, money and access to friends and family members; isolation or
  being trapped against one’s will within the boundaries of home or community.
• EMOTIONAL — threats to cause harm, playing mind games, humiliation, insults and/or name
  calling.
• ECONOMIC — denial of money for food, clothes and/or personal use.
• SEXUAL — forced to have sex or be intimate against one’s will.
• SOCIAL — isolation from friends and family, fear of making someone angry.

If you are …

• Experiencing violence in your relationship
• Being hurt by one or more of your family members
• Lonely and isolated
• Denied access to money
• Forced to stay with the person who hurts you
• Feeling angry, sad and/or tired
• Afraid of being hurt
• Worried your children are being exposed to violence

… you need help!

Source: Stopping the Violence Counselling Program, MOSAIC Vancouver.

A Healthy Relationship is based on care, trust and tolerance … not jealousy, control and unreasonable
demands.